Foxy Roxy

Steve and I were "over the top" thrilled to be sending our youngest son Bryan off to visit with his aunt and uncle in Alaska. It was to give us some much needed time together with NO STRESS... Bryan being the firecracker that caused 500% of our stress in those days. We had trouble from the very beginning trying to convince Bryan to even go up there. Evidently, his friends were his WORLD, his parents his worst NIGHTMARE. He wasn't about to go when he finally understood that the comeback day on his return tickets was thirty days later. Without having to hog tie him to the plane seat, we finally convinced him he had the OPTION of changing that comeback date. By this time there wasn't much left of my manicure.

That Bryan-free month was HEAVEN for us. Not so for Bryan's aunt Tracey. We went to Cancun before the hurricanes, Palm Springs and even spent a weekend in San Diego--agreeing that even mentioning Bryan was off limits. Steve even said "There will be life after Bryan!" My sister Tracey up in Alaska was feeling like she was any place but in heaven...because Bryan was a wild kid, out of control, and pressing every button. She was anxious to get him back on a plane headed south. Matter of fact....that was the LAST time Tracey ever laid eyes on her precious nephew.

The morning that Bryan was set to leave on the flight out of Anchorage, Alaska, we got a call at 6:45 a.m. from Bryan. Evidently because of the Paris bombings, the government was not allowing anyone to fly without a picture I.D. Well, Bryan being 17 did not have one. Tracey had dropped Bryan at the airport at l:30 in the morning so that he would not miss the flight at 6:15. The plane was about to leave within 30 minutes and the airlines refused to let him board...so I had to work fast. Bryan hung up and was supposed to stay put and wait. In the meantime, I called Tracey and got the answering machine. She was sleeping. I was near hysteria. At this point I decided to try and contact the airlines directly. I called a 800 number for United and they in turn worked with Anchorage, but the clerk did come back to me and say "sorry-- the government has their new rules." Before things could get worked out Bryan had managed to disappear. My stomach was a ball of nerves because being the mother of this "special" boy, I knew ANYTHING possible was GOING to happen. And sure enough--the inevitable would happen. Security had an unpleasant encounter with Bryan over his agitation, hot temper, raised voice, and extremely choice words--- and they told him to GET OUT OF THE AIRPORT or they would call the police. An angel of a supervisor worked the situation through and I was willing to fax his birth certificate so he could be put on a later flight out. But at this point-- NO BRYAN.

We were worried sick since we did not know where Bryan was at this time. Honestly, both Steve and I had this "worried sick" feeling down real well after seventeen years. It was a long morning--and what felt like twelve hours was only four--but that phone rang and it was Bryan with a voice as cheerful and light as if only he existed. He told us how he had hitched a ride with a thirty year old woman named Foxy Roxy and a license plate that read "Looney." When he got to his Aunt Tracey's home he greeted his worried aunt with a huge cocky smile on his face and a happy-go-lucky attitude. He told his aunt and very interested cousins, Travis and George, how he had hitched a ride with this kinky gal. He not only got a much needed ride, but he got something so wild and crazy you would think he had just flown to the moon and back. The boys doubted his story until he showed them the nude photos on his camera. The camera had been to capture the beauty of Alaska on this "vacation"....but there were few of those photos to be seen. . When he was telling his cousins they could not believe it! They said that they have lived all their lives in Alaska and that sort of crazy thing NEVER happened to them. But, leave it to Bryan to find as much adventure in his Alaska trip as possible. His Aunt Tracey laughed a good one at him and told him his "thing" would rot and fall off... but, Bryan was one up on everyone and reached into his wallet and pulled out his "just in case" condoms.

When Bryan got off that plane the thought of "murder" was crawling through my brain. But, once again, just knowing he was home safe was all that really mattered.